Episode 3: "Badmouthing" Your Coparent--New Thoughts on an Old No-No!
We all know badmouthing is a big no-no when it comes to coparenting, but what counts as badmouthing the other parent?
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What Is The Divorce Hui?
In the Hawaiian language, the word "hui" means "to join."
At The Divorce Hui, our mission is to invite divorcing parents who value the long-term outcomes of their children into a thoughtful, yet candid discussion about thoughts, choices, and behaviors that promote the current and eventual academic, social, and emotional well-being and stability of their children.
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Allana Wade Coffee, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist in private practice and the Co-Founder of Honolulu Psychology Collective LLC, a mental health group practice. Dr. Coffee earned her Ph.D. in Educational Psychology, 2004, and her respecialization certificate in clinical psychology, 2012 from the University of Hawaii, Manoa. Since 1995, Dr. Coffee has worked in public and private education, community mental health, Kaiser Permanente and private practice serving adolescents, adults, couples, and parents.
Dr. Coffee has written curricula and provided professional training on domestic violence treatment, the effects of domestic violence on children, teaching anger-management and communication skills to youth and coparenting skills for parents in high conflict court involvement. Dr. Coffee’s experiences both as a student, a teacher and consultant make her especially sensitive to the unique experiences faced by parents, teachers and students.
For more than 20 years, Stacy has been a family attorney specializing in child advocacy. During this time, she have witnessed the most amazing miracles and the most devastating tragedies. She believe that most parents have good intentions behind their decisions, even though their actions can actually harm their children.
Stacy works with families in a variety of roles and at all stages of a divorce or custody litigation. As a Fact Finder (a.k.a. custody evaluator), she comes in at the beginning of the case to do an investigation and make custody recommendations to the court. As a mediator, she comes in the middle of a custody dispute, usually the last stop before parents decide whether they will go to trial. As a Guardian Ad Litem, she can be appointed at various stages of the case to represent the children’s best interest. As a parenting coordinator, she comes in after the custody agreement is made, to work with the parents to implement the terms of their decree or other court orders.
No matter what the role, Stacy's sole focus is the children’s best interest, above all else. While Stacy understands the suffering that parents go through, her responsibility is to advocate for the children who have no choice in the divorce. There will be times when to be fair to a parent would be unfair to the child. Her role is to ensure that the best interests of the children are
the foundation of my involvement with the family.
Britt Young is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and works with Families in Divorce Transition and High-Conflict Coparents at Xplor Counseling, LLC. Britt encourages families to shift their lens from adversaries to collaborators and see the coparenting relationship as a redefinition of roles and responsibilities, not a burden to be tolerated.
Britt believes with effort, coparents can create an "infinite" relationship where all everyone, including the children, come out winners. Before entering the mental health field, Britt was a News Reporter and Meteorologist for multiple news stations. She lives in Hawaii Kai with her husband, three children, and two Italian Greyhounds.
“Our life is shaped by our mind, for we become what we think.”
Buddha
Fictional Examples Only: Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the speakers’ imagination or are used fictitiously or have been changed so drastically as to protect client confidentiality. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events, is purely coincidental.
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You should contact your attorney to obtain advice with respect to any particular legal matter. Do not act or refrain from acting on the basis of information on presented on our podcast without first seeking legal advice from counsel in the relevant jurisdiction. Only your individual attoney can provide assurances that the information discussed on the video podcast– and your interpretation of it – is applicable or appropriate to your particular situation.
The views expressed during the podcast are those of the individual speakers, speaking in their individual capacities only.
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Nothing discussed in the video podcast is intended to or should serve as a substitute for mental health advice or diagnoses rendered to you by your individual health care provider. Only a licensed mental health provider should evaluate your situation, provide a diagnosis, or render other medical advice to you, and you should act only upon the advice of such provider.
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